Not long ago a writing mentor of mine cautioned her social media followers about writing with “vengeance.” Many memoirists tell stories of abuse, conflict, or other painful situations. Part of the craft of successful memoir writing is being able to tell the story, even a difficult one, without getting lost in venting for revenge.
I began writing my memoir around the spring and summer of 2015. As I’ve re-edited and reflected I’ve seen more opportunities to become objective about some fo the relationships I describe in my book. A memoir isn’t a place to complain about other people or paint oneself as the blameless victim (I use my journal for that, ha ha). Having some time from the events that occurred has changed my perspective not on what happened but how I choose to portray it. I am also forced to admit the flaws in my own personality and choices.
I sometimes can’t believe that four years have gone by since I finished the first draft of my book. Having a full-time job and a part-time taekwondo career keeps me pretty busy! Perhaps I’d be published by now if I weren’t busy, you know, paying my mortgage and electricity bills. But I’m thankful for the time I’ve had to improve my writing and gain a more detached perspective of both the good and bad things that happened while I was training for my black belt.